What's Your Excuse?

Lula brought this paper home from school earlier this year. They were studying nutrition and the food pyramid.




Look at her answer for this question:



I found this funny. Or it could be that it's particularly telling about our house. Or it could be that I am easily amused. By the way, I bought eggs this morning.

Leak

I'm upset about the ongoing oil spill. I'm uncomfortable making jokes about it. I want it to be stopped and then efforts concentrated on the clean up.

I remember when the Katrina disaster was unfolding, we happened to be driving from Kansas to Texas and encountered some of the displaced at gas station. They were obviously in shock and wanted nothing more than to be heard -- oh, and something to eat. Maybe a dry place to sleep. At the time, my mother was on one of her infamous tirades. Not because of the loss of human life or destruction caused by the natural disaster. Not because the slow response of the government and relief organizations, but because one sentence in Dear Abby article she happened to be reading, taken out of context, could be used if twisted jussssst right to support her side of some long forgotten argument. I'm sure it was all my fault.

I remember we left the gas station in a rush, she was in a huff and we didn't help the people one bit. The man wore overalls and was missing a tooth. He was also missing his home and all his worldly possessions. I didn't know it at the time. The pictures and the news hadn't reached the local news. No one knew what a terrible mess it all was. No one knew yet.

I would walk away from a brawl

I'm running my third half marathon tomorrow morning. See what I did there? I said I was going to do something and BAM! Imma doin' it. I've got one of those ridiculous runners tans (white, white, white feet) and I'm kind of proud of it.

Last night I added a few new songs to my walkman shuffle. There's usually one or two songs that really help me get through a race. James Brown, I'm looking at you. Before my last race, I downloaded this little gem. It's pretty much my theme song. Erik MADE me get the clean version (Mamma's music is not for little ears.) Funny what I thought he was saying v. what was really said. NSFW.

PS: I love how he's got so much Maine pride. Pine Tree State - who-hoo!

No Birth Photographer

Another way I've failed my children is that I did not have a professional photographer present to document their births. You should know, I didn't have any extended family members. Or a doula. In fact I barely had a doctor.

I did have a camera. That took film. Film that had to be developed. Developed at a store. A store that offered a discount on the second set of prints. Hi, year 2000.

Every once in a while, I'll stumble across those images captured in the moments after Hazel was born. I remember holding her in my arms for the first time. A nurse graciously offered to take a picture of us all. Erik, myself, newborn Hazel and poking out for prosperity my areola.

It really is a horrible picture. It seems to get worse with time. And as always, there's my boob front and center. Why didn't anyone cover me up? I think that nurse did it on purpose.