Takes The Cake – A Bakery Story

Oh, have I got some tales to tell:

• The crazy mom and cookie sales
• How I thought I was being asked out but really being asked to babysit
• The class basket for the school auction or a one-way ticket to debt & failure
• and more!*

Today you get a how I saw a man acting stupid - any way you slice it.

I have a very hard time taking "no" for an answer. This practice has served me well in my life. Mostly. But I'll admit, on occasion, it has made me look determined, driven, focused a bit like a bit asshole.

So yesterday, I had to run into the grocery store to procure some "green fruits" for the St. Patrick's Day fruit salad that the youngest child would be taking to her class party. (Kiwi, Granny Smith & Grapes). And a trip to the store means a swing by the bakery section for the complimentary cookie club cookie. As we waited in line, I was taken in by the conversation of the man being serviced:

Bakery Woman: (sliding wrapped loaf over the counter) We can't slice it.

Man: Why not?

Bakery Woman: We don't slice bread with seeds.

Man: I've had it done here before.

Bakery Woman: Sir. It's from Trader Joe's. This is Safeway.

Man: So? You should do it for customer service

Bakery Woman: Our machines aren't made to slice seeded loaves. And it is not our item.

Man: What's your name? Oh, so you're just the assistant manager. I want to speak with the manager.


I couldn't believe it. I've tried to get away with some doozies in my day, but this was too much. Even for me. Maybe, I should take my Audi to the Toyota dealership for a scheduled maintenance and free oil change.

The bakery lady ended up pulling an extra day old oatmeal raisin for the man. And that seemed to please him enough to not wait for the manager.

Moral: Low blood sugar is a bitch.

(I learned that "and more!" bit as an advertising copywriter. Try it. It really works. 100% satisfaction guaranteed – or your money back. Seriously, I am on fire today.)