Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Words From My Mother

Maggie at Mighty Girl sparked the idea for this post. Miss Grace did it too.

Here's my list of the best advice my mother ever always gave me.

Don't eat carbs.

Don't eat everything on your plate.

Don't eat after six pm.

Your father is an asshole.

Don't eat fried foods.

Don't eat rice. Or potatoes. Or corn. Corn is the WORST thing you could eat.

Your father is an asshole.

Eat lean protein.

Don't eat bread.

Don't eat crackers.

You know, they feed corn to pigs. Don't eat corn.

Your father is an asshole.

You should have gone to Law School.

*Ironically, or not, today is my Father's birthday! Happy Birthday, Dad! Mom sends her love.


Zellmer said...

Best post ever.

I take it there will be no corn served at the Halloween party?

Miss Grace said...

I love it.

mlb said...

corn is my favorite food. after ketchup.

mrs. blogoway said...

You left out fatty dairy foods. I've noticed nothing makes me fatter than icecream...

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

"Your father is an asshole". Sadly, I think I'm teaching Hailey that one too.

Minnesota Matron said...

Did our mothers take the same marriage class? And what CAN you eat?

Rebeckah said...

This is SO funny I can't stand it : ). Oh my gosh!

Jenny said...

I am so sorry, it doesn't sound like you got to eat what you wanted, or believe that your daddy was a hero. If it is any consolation, my MIL says "People do the best they know." Perhaps your mother thought she was protecting you against the ugliness of the world (carbs included). BTW - She was kind of right - corn doesn't really have much nutritional value. :)

marathon mom said...

hmm. your dad and I share the same Bday.


She was before her time on the carbs thing.

that girl said...

I think, if I had a daughter I would take the reverse psychology approach:

Eat only things that are yummy and contain high fructose corn syrup and carbs.

Marry only assholes.

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