Monday, July 28, 2008

I curse the day you were born.

The Grand Canyon topped the girls wish list for our cross country drive. So at an RV park in Arizona we unloaded the Audi off the trailer attached to the moving truck and headed to the south rim. Somehow they had gotten it into their heads that the Grand Canyon involved climbing, which I guess it would if you were on the canyon floor. However being on the rim proved panic inducing as the girls attempted to scamper up and down various lookout points. Oh the disappointment that mommy won't let you climb down the ledge of a thousand foot cliff.

Upon arrival, we'd consulted with a ranger who had tipped us off on how to achieve badge wearing Jr. Ranger status. They encourage shuttle bus travel around the park, so we hopped aboard and headed to a informative, educational and most importantly energy burning children's activity. Then we hopped on the bus to our next destination intent on a quick hike. Two stops later I was abruptly interrupted by a white haired, barrel chested driver barking, "You have to get OFF this bus RIGHT NOW!"

There was that pause of confusion. And then more man barking, "You have to get OFF this bus RIGHT NOW! No dogs are allowed on the bus."

And then I was really confused. We'd been traveling close to two thousand miles with our 6 lb. Chihuahua ChaCha. He was on leash as per park instructions. While on the shuttle bus or in crowds I stuck him inside my bag where his little head popped out much to the pleasure of many an adoring tourist. We'd been given a dog biscuit by the park attendant upon entry. We'd been instructed to take the shuttle by the Ranger who acknowledged the lil guy and not one person mentioned no dogs on the shuttle bus.

Now with a bus full of people the driver who looked like he'd fit in nicely with fat Elvis' Memphis Mafia was blowing his stack. It was a scene. My husband boldly stood his ground. The driver jumped on his walky-talky. The kids were wide-eyed.

"What are we supposed to do?" I wailed. "We're 5 miles from our car?"

Defeated, I marched forcefully into the nearest ranger station. "I want to talk to the most important person in charge!" I demanded. "What's up?" the hot college students checking guests into the historic hotel asked. I explained. They thought. A taxi was ruled out because of the same restriction, only service animals. And a solution surfaced.

"Just get on the next bus." said the sage Hollister™ wearing worker. Genius! We'll board one with a driver who doesn't have a stick up his end. And it was perfect, because I have a difficult time taking no for an answer. Plus, I very much wanted to get back to the car before night fall.

I wish that Jennster had been with me, because she would have told the driver to SuckIt! Instead I mustered up my best Charlotte York and exclaimed to the driver in front of the entire bus, "I hope you have a NICE DAY!"

Take that, Gary L. driver of the Grand Canyon shuttle bus C-13.


Denise said...

oohhh that was so Charlotte-ish! Love it!

'That Girl' said...

WHAT and ASS! What DID he expect you to do?

stepping over the junk said...

Heh heh. That was NOT my experience at the Grand Canyon. But of course, I was last there when I was ten. My parents made me hike for hours.

Biddy said...

haha well, i have to say, you're MUCH nicer than me! i would have said something along the lines of "kiss my naturally black @ss!"

another good thing said...

You are much more controlled than me. It would have been a perfect tongue sticking out nah nah nananah moment.

jennster said...

i would have been fucking LIVID!!!! i would have said more than suck it.. probably along the lines of fuck off. lol

mrs. blogoway said...

What a jerk... I bet any other shuttle driver wouldn't have had a problem with it. Oh well, atleast the kids have a fun memory of the Grand Canyon. When I was a kid and my parents took me to see it, they let us get out at an over-look and gaze at it for about 5 minutes and then they said, "Back in the car. We have to make Needles by midnight!"

Tracee said...


Sure was fun meeting you at BlogHer.

slouching mom said...

you were VERY restrained, as far as i'm concerned.

(good to meet you during spring break! heh.)

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