"Mommy, there's a squirrel in the tree and I think it is dead. Oh, Mommmmmmmmmy. It's been there for a long time and it is not moving."
So I dutifully, walked outside to examine the dead squirrel. Except, it's eyes were open. Every once in awhile it's head would twitch. It was splayed out on a low limb hugging the branch with it's tail in the air and some sort of inexplicable something going on between it's hind legs.
My mommy brain kicked into overdrive. But you should know, I'm not exactly an expert in animal husbandry. I remember once commenting that to my Aunt that one of the sows in the pig pen appeared to have hemorrhoids. She laughed at me shaking her head and corrected, "That is not its butt." (In case you don't make it around female hogs very often, to my city eyes the best way to describe it is to say the girly bits get ravaged.)
Which brings me to my first donkey show. A donkey show with kids in tow. They've recently revamped the children's area at our zoo. Replacing an area that used to house goats with three miniature Sicilian Donkeys. The first time I laid eyes on the little asses the black and white one was seriously letting it all hang out.
"Mommy, what's that black thing hanging down between its legs?"
Which was the EXACT thought racing through my mind. Seriously, I'm not sure if was the Italian or the Donkey, but that lil feller might need an agent. Or on second thought, thank goodness he's in the zoo where he can be protected.
"That's his penis." I replied nonchalantly. Lula quickly scampered away and I carefully picked my jaw off the floor and resisted the urge to point and take pictures. About this time Hazel approached.
"Mommy, what's that thing hanging down?"
"That's his penis." I again replied nonchalantly. But I couldn't stop staring. Seriously, I couldn't look away if I tried.
"No, what is that thing hanging down?"
To which I exclaimed, "No, really. I know it's hard to believe but THAT is his penis!"
"No, that BLUE thing."
I zoomed out, allowing my eyes to take in more of the scene. Tied to a rope, hanging from the eaves of the barn was a medium sized blue rubber ball. And as if on cue, the donkey obediently switched gears, reeling in it's manhood and playfully head butting the toy ball.
Which brings us back to the squirrel. I stood there in the backyard perplexed. Quickly ushered the dog into the house. Quickly jumped on the computer to try to google an answer. Seems as if this isn't quite the birthing season for squirrels and they commonly deliver a litter in a tree nest. So I'm still about as confused as I was when I started. I don't know, the best I can come up with is maybe it is the squirrel that has hemorrhoids.