Monday, June 30, 2008

Day 4,679: It's been so long I've lost count

Okay, people. The first three days were FUN! The next two, I got some things done I'd woefully been putting off. When the time surpassed a week with out my family, I started to get disoriented and found myself babbling incoherently to the Lean Mean Grillin' Machine®.

A few friends I've seen or spoken too keep reminding me how "heavenly" time alone seems to them. What would you do? I inquire. Because as we all I know, even when it comes to time alone, I want some reassurance that I AM doing it okay or right or good enough. I'd prefer stellar, but I'm not going to push my luck.

When I ask them and they think about it, everyone comes to the conclusion that ELEVEN days is way too long. But they babble about cleaning out kids' closest, eating sushi and going to the movies. Check. Check. And check.

Let's recap all the things I've done:

Went to the gym ALMOST every day.

Went to see Sex And The City and Then She Found Me.
Rented Fool's Gold, Atonement, Kinsey, and The Amateaurs. (Have I ever told you about how I used to go to the movies at least 3x a week?)

Woke up early. Went to bed very late.

Met friend w/o kids at Pub. Sat outside. Ordered fancy summer drink called The Bee's Knees. Spat. Made face. Ordered Light Beer.

Met same friend w/ other single friends at a loud bar. More Light Beer.

Hosted a wine tasting/book swap party at my house on Thursday night. Huge success. The wine part more than the book part.

Crashed a party for 7 year olds 'cause I knew my mommy friends would be there. Brought hostess gift.

Read (in 2 days) all of James Frey's new novel Bright Shiny Morning. Loved it. Except now I'm a wee bit afraid of LA.

Got disgustingly sunburned whilst reading said book at the Eagles Club - affectionately known as the low rent Country Club. More Light Beer.

That just about brings us up to this very moment. I've got plans tonight, tomorrow and even before I pick everyone up at the airport on Wednesday. So it is smooth sailing from here on out. Whew!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Day Five: Aggravation sets in

Today my husband informed me that her wouldn't be returning with our children OR to our marital bed (dramatic pause) until Wednesday next week. Originally he had told me they would return on Tuesday. I'll show him! I'll go to ANOTHER movie. Take that! But then AMC laughed in my face and proceeded to offer not one movie that looked fancy enough for my tickle. Rude.

In addition, we're having a refreshing summer thunderstorm this evening. I just stepped out on the porch to admire the lightening and listen to the pitter patter of the falling raindrops punctuated by the hiss of the neighbors automatic sprinkler system. Irritating. I guess it could be worse. Tomorrow I'm going to do some covert surveillance and make sure they aren't running their A/C with the door open.

Ms. Kravitz in da house.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Day 3: Morose, Nostalgic and Agoraphobic

The weekend before last, we had a garage sale. In which one of the many items for sale was my personal copy of 14,000 Things To Be Happy About. I jokingly flipped through the pages letting my eyes fall on an entry and mulling over the prospect of the random item bringing said happiness.

Czech Food

Hula Hoops

The NBC Studios at Rockefeller Center

It was the day after Tim Russert had died. No I thought, they're probably not very happy at NBC.

Suddenly, 14,000 things seemed like way too many. Three, I thought to myself. Three things (husband, child, child) are all I need.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Day Two: Noon mass at the most holy AMC

How apropos that I was awoken by a call from my very dear friend on the very day I had planned to go see the Sex and The City movie. It was just like Miranda calling Carrie on New Year's Eve except in my world it was morning and it's June.

I really had fun at the movies.

It made me miss New York and my own Charlotte, Miranda & Samantha.

It made me remember the times I ran into shoot locations walking around my New York neighborhood.

Carrie met Burger at the movie theatre across from our apartment. She called him from a dummy pay phone in front of the marquee which scrolls through a list of fake movie titles.

And I saw Carrie run into Aidan on 69th Street. Remember when he turned around sporting the Baby Bjorn?

When you do the math, I'm like their 5th wheelBeatle . I mean, c'mon I practically deserve my name in the credits.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Home Alone: Day 1

My family has left me. For the first time in forever I will be flying solo for ten whole days! Ten whole days! Ten WHOLE days. I have never been left alone for such a long time.

I am supine on the couch watching my new favorite movie Running Down A Dream. Go now and order it On Demand FREE! It's Peter Bogdanovich's documentary about Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

How could my love of Southern Rock not brought Mudcrutch across my radar? Man the seventies, man. Good times.

I'm lovin' on Tom's retelling of his story growing up in Gainesville, Florida. He says: I'd never crossed the Mississippi. I'd never met and Englishman. I'd never seen a house with a swimming pool.

In my own personal story I say of my post-college move to NYC: I'd never crossed the Mason-Dixon. Growing up in Texas, grandma lived in Kansas and a vacation meant a drive to Colorado. What had you "never" done before? Growing up or starting today?

Friday, June 20, 2008


We interrupt the crisis, breakdown, er...uh... adventure for Summer.

For the past three seasons the girls have represented the mighty Piranha swim team. Stroll with me down memory lane.

Here's Hazel's 2006 debut. (Notice how the proud parent remembered the video camera. )

2007 gave us this winner of an image.

And (drum roll please) 2008. Where there was but lo, one parent in attendance.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I am NOT

...doing okay, in case you are wondering. If you are wondering WHAT happened to me? So am I.

I'll be back very soon. With BIG new. Big announcements. Even a winner for my FIRST contest - remember, from the last time I was NOT doing okay?

It's not too late to enter.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

When the going gets tough

the tough make appetizers!

Or how I cook with weapons.

My usual "dish" brought to many a pot-luck is deviled eggs. Seriously, I make a mean deviled egg. (This is where normally, I would launch into my diatribe about if is is appropriate to bring deviled eggs to a church function? But I'm short on time. Your thoughts?)

But I was feeling adventurous and inspired. I'd been pointed to All Adither's new food blog.

It has a title after my own heart, the half-assed kitchen, in case you don't care to click on the link. As I was saying, I was instructed to bring an appetizer to the end of the school year soiree. And I thought this combination looked delightful:

This was before the salmonella scare and before I realized that my basil was wilted to a stick in our near 100 degree Texas heat. Cut to me spraying the herb garden 30 minutes before we were to arrive at the party hoping the basil would miraculously plump up with a quick drink.

I wish I had snapped a picture of the accompanying kid friendly version the girls whipped up with strawberries and marshmallows dipped in chocolate and sprinkles. It only required TWO trips the store.

Anywho, I decided to add cucumbers and my version looked like this:

Tune in next month year when I get the urge to be inspired in the kitchen again.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Anxiety rises to an all time high

You wouldn't believe me, even if I told you half of the things that are going on at the moment. Seriously my head is spinning. But there is NEVER too much activity for one of my darling children to utter those SIX little words near and dear to every mother's heart.

"Mommy! Can you come wipe me?!?"

Lately I've adopted the Super Nanny's retort and more often than not reply,

"C'mon! It's a life skill!"

But yesterday, for some reason I tried a different approach. Summoned to the bathroom for anal assistance I teasingly held the paper in my distant hand and inquired,

"Will you be nice to me when you are a teenager?"

To which, Hazel quickly quipped,

"Will you pay for college?"

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Weight, are you here for the picture?

Imagine Wooderson in my all time favorite movie Dazed and Confused

They keep getting older and I stay the same size.

So I think it was just before my trip to San Francisco that I quit attending my WW meetings. Work was busy, I had to get highlights, a client meeting, etc. etc. etc. That didn't' stop them from taking out the auto debit from my checking account.

The good news? Swim team has started. So that means the alarm rings at 6:20 and the girls are in the pool at 7 am. I'm on the treadmill at 7:05. This is the one time a year I string together 4 consecutive days in a row at the gym.

Any who - there's been ALOT going on at the Laymon-Johnson's. Same song, years ago verse. If you were half the Nancy Drew as I, you might have picked up on it.

So, I was saying:

It's all happening. A quote from my 2nd favorite movie of ALL time, Almost Famous. And while work has been hellish, I take a few moments and listen to the soundtrack from Hairspray.

The songs were part of Hazel's dance recital. So when the going gets tough, the tough listen to -

Which is exactly what I was listening to when I snapped the picture above.

*Shout out to Catherine who begins a new chapter and gave me the soundtrack.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Once upon a time

my dear OLD friend got canned published.

I was searching through my archives in an attempt to link to the post where I told of how my friend Stef got laid off less than three weeks after having her second child. I couldn't seem to locate it easily. Even my archives are a mess. I do remember the joke I made, it was she had baby about the last time I went to the grocery store. Ba-da-bum.

You know how they like to say, every cloud has a silver lining? Read about her's here.