Monday, March 31, 2008

Cue the Bryan Adams

Seriously people, I go around doing good deeds NON-STOP and no one seems to notice. A prime example, the wedge haired lady who yelled at me for feeding birds.

Just a few minutes ago, I moved my car from the open lot to the safety net of covered parking. Thus ensuring that the impending thunderstorms and potential tornado would almost instantly change course and spare each and every one of my co-workers and their vehicles what was sure to be thousands of dollars in hail damage not to mention their lives.

And tonight, I will forgo the love and quality time spent with my family, to go meet perfect strangers from the internet.

Everything I do, I do it for yooooooou!

Friday, March 28, 2008


Is it just me or is Dooce morphing into Bossy?

I am constantly checking Bossy's site for an update about her evening in Atlanta. I'm a bit concerned she might be too road weary when she arrives on Monday? Oh, how I hope she is doing okay.

photo: Dooce, Daily Style, 3/28/08

Thursday, March 27, 2008

News feed

1) My cousin April and family visited last weekend. That means 8 people under our roof. And we all survived! We ran around doing lots of things: arboretum, zoo, egg hunt, movies, museums and margaritas.

2) I have mentioned that the Hari Kirshna temple has a respected vegetarian restaurant, Kalachandhi's. I had NO IDEA how amazing. It's like I went to India with out the 23 hour flight and the squatter toilet. I can't wait to go back!

3) I recommend these sites, highly:


I will teach you to be rich

4) 4 days til BOSSY. Excellent.

5) I signed up for Weight Watchers again today. Ugh! Yay! I usually have, er - I should say in the past, I have had early success with WW. I think now that this had more to do with starvation than actual point tallying. But I am publicly announcing another go. So hold me accountable would you?

6) With my growing popularity, I am now forced to abbreviate Am I Doing Okay. From now on AIDO will suffice. And try to keep those comments concise and to the point. Really, you think I spend all day on the Internet?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Weight Watcher

I was babbling a bit to the girls about healthy food choices. And how I wanted to make some changes.

"I am going on a diet." I exclaimed.

"Diets don't work!" Lula quickly quipped back.

That's right my little Jedi, but apparently ADVERTISING does.

California Dreamin'

Last night, I dreamed about Dooce.

Dooce and I were at a little tappas type bar gabbing away in a corner when we were interrupted by a group of Hari Krishnas.

Allow me to bore you to tears with my navel gazing dream interpretation skills:

1) I am very much looking forward to finally going to Kalachandiji's. The vegetarian restaurant adjacent to the Krishna Temple in town. I've always wanted to go and the more I read about it the more I can't wait.( zzzzzzz - posting about what your are someday going to eat for lunch.) The real appeal is that I fancy the Hari Krishna. By just the thought of them I am instantly transported back to the '70's a wide eyed child gazing at the beautiful people dancing and chanting. Why, yes! I do want a flower!

2) Now that I have verbally committed to attending the BlogHer conference with Stef, my subconscious has started creating a to-do list. Number one: Eat tappas with Dooce in SF.

I told you I have mad interpretation skills.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Oh Happy Day

A few days ago, when I picked Lula up from school she happily exclaimed, "Oh Mommy, it was BEST DAY EVER!" She continued, "Classmate A was absent!! Classmate B threw up at lunch!!! And I got to play with Classmate C all by myself!!!!"

What joy.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Second squeeze is the charm

Sorry for the slim posting as of late. Our spring break was going along swimmingly when I received a call from my gynecologists office that my baseline mammogram had come back inconclusive and I needed to return for more imaging. This was my first mammogram and I was originally instructed to get it for comparison purposes many, many years from now. As my doctor's assistant patiently explained the results and next steps the only words I heard her say were: YOU HAVE BREAST CANCER AND YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.

Today I went for a diagnostic mammogram and a sonogram. The radiologist is NOT concerned. And says I shouldn't be either. And says, I am to come back in 6 months.

In a random twist of fate guess who has a son in the same Kindergarten class as Lula? That's right, my gynecologist. On the first day of school we eyed each other suspiciously. One of those I know you, but from where moments. "You look so familiar," she exclaimed. So to make easier on her, I got down on the circle-time rug and stuck my feet up in the air.


I've debated finding a new doctor, but had decided to just go with it. More than likely the kids won't be in the same class next year and we're both professionals, right? What would you do:?

Sunday, March 9, 2008

South By South Dooce

So, yeah, I skipped the girls soccer game to make a bee line up I-35 to meet Dooce. She posted that she'd be at a local Austin coffee shop from 11-1pm. When I arrived, she was right by the door but the line of her entourage snaked through the store. One by one, tons of people waited in line to have an opportunity to meet her and John. Some even came baring gifts.

Whilst standing in line, I met Erica and Conner. And I saw two people I knew (but couldn't remember where from). Anton - Erik 2 jobs ago and Erika - me one job ago.

Erik (husband) asked if I told Heather about my blog? "Um," I responded, "that would be like telling Jimmy Page I play guitar."

But no, I didn't tell Dooce about my blog. Or my mad snowboarding skills. She did ask about the girls. And I told her they get louder has they get older. Specifically remembering Hazel's need to blast Kids Bop nightly and proclaim, "I love this song. I know ALL the words."

Dooce's receiving line moved at a snail's pace and I had no idea what I'd actually say to her once it was finally my turn. She broke the ice by sticking out her hand and warmly exclaiming, "Hi. I'm Heather." I babbled my name, that I'd traveled from Dallas for spring break with the girls. I went on to retell the tale of how once in the early '90s, I'd waited in a equally long line to meet Willie Nelson at a Kinky Freeman book signing. After I had had my book and poster signed, and posed for a picture cheek to cheek with Mr. Nelson, I had floated right past Kinky out the door and two blocks down 5th Avenue before I realized not only had I snubbed the author but I had also left my camera. That kids, was BEFORE digital.

Friday, March 7, 2008

The Other Woman/Women

Have you heard about Bossy's Excellent Road Trip? Usually when I talk about my blog, Erik responds with this.

When my area was confirmed on a Bossy tour stop, he responded with: She's not going to stay at our house, is she?!?!?!?!

He responded this way I think because even on the days when I am doing okay, our house usually isn't. The cleaning lady was the first thing to go when our proverbial financial belt got tightened. And we've been doing quite well, not great...but well.

But NO, Bossy is not staying at my house. And this makes me feel sad and relieved at the same time. Visit the Bossy lottery winner here. How can I compete with that? Who wouldn't want to spend the night? I might even bust out the Aero Bed myself. I'm really looking forward to meeting fellow members of the blogosphere.

And in the morning. I will abandon husband and forgo soccer to meet up with the infamous Dooce.

Stay tuned. Adventure and mayhem are sure to follow. Can I get a Spring Break '08?! Whoot.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Where I go Jack Nicholson on your Chrysler Sebring convertable

I never thought it would happen to me. Seriously, I am a very mellow driver. I'd be hard pressed to honk, regardless of the offense. About the only time I venture to comment on anyone's driving is to tell Erik to slow down or back off. You can usually find me in the slow lane encouraging some car dancing from the girls in the back seat.

Saturday, rushing from the parent academy to the soccer game, I spotted an offensive substance in the back seat. Earlier, I had swung through the donut drive-thru and picked up some pigs-n-blankets for the girls. And because I had cleaned out my car a few days earlier, I found the sight of this lone "blanket" particularly puzzling. I mean, who just eats the "pig"? And you know what happens to flour based food stuffs when left in the back seat of mom's car? They become crumbs. Millions of crumbs. So stopped at a light, I reached in to the back seat grabbed the bread "blanket", rolled down the passenger side window and chucked it into a grassy knoll (not THAT grassy knoll) next to the abandoned grocery slated to become a Whole Foods.

Let's review the facts:

I threw a piece of bread into the grass.
It's spring.
Birds love bread.

So it makes perfect sense, that a woman felt it was her business, to pull up beside me once the light turned green, make her worst ugly face and scream at the top of her lungs, "LITTERBUG!" while driving along side me at 40 MPH.

I experienced a sensation I'd previously only witnessed. I was overcome with OH. NO. SHE. DIDN'T. syndrome.

You want to get into a judge off with me lady? You are messing with the wrong mom. I gave birth in San Francisco. I raised babies in NYC. Manhattan proper. I've cut my teeth on the parental judging capitol of our country. Let's review the facts:

Your "wedge" styled haircut. Absolutely hideous. It's the first thing I noticed about you.
Your child in the front seat? Dangerous. Much more so than the bread I threw out of the window.
Your Chrysler Sebring convertible. Ewwww. Your choice in cars proves you have zero taste.
Your New Vehicle tags. Maybe if you're such an earth lover you should have considered a hybrid?
You yell at strangers in front of your child. Nice. Ever watch Dr. Phil? Your kid probably realized it was bread and now has to live with a mother who screams, name calls AND can't see very well.
You can't see, but yet you drive. Again with the danger. Not just for your child, but also mine.

You can call me a lot of things, but litter bug not very high on the list. I abhor garbage. And as a good dead I frequently pick up other people's trash. Especially in public parks. I do like birds. And children.

So, just know - that your indiscretion is forgiven. I am kind of hoping we run into each other again soon. And by run into, I am no way implying with my car (although the Sebring scored well in side impact crash tests - go you!). Because the next time I see you, I'm going to smile and use my nice best voice to say, "IT WAS BREAD!!!"