Tuesday, January 29, 2008

This just in

If the whole work/life balance thing wasn't keeping me preoccupied at the moment, apparently their has been a GLOBAL investigation to discover:

from Yahoo news

Monday, January 28, 2008

Meet the family: Miss Universe

This is our cat. Lula told anyone who would listen that she wanted a REAL, LIVE kitten for her birthday last year. Anyone who knows me, knows that I believe that people should make lifetime commitments to people and with animals you should be able to date. I'm not saying I didn't want a cat, I just didn't know if I wanted one for the the next twenty years. So Erik went on the search for a mature feline. And last spring we became the happy rehome of the feline formerly known as Bunny.

We had a few family meetings trying to decide her new name. One in which Erik devised an intricate bracket system of all the potential names. It was March Madness after all. We had some doozies devised for potential names, but the girls were steadfast in the white department: Snowball, Snowflake, Snowy.

The kitty really is a good addition to our family. She lets Lula carry her around in everything: wagon, laundry basket, pillowcase. I guess this is what happens when you get old, you lose your fight. Although on occasion, I catch her reaching out her little paw to give Cha Cha a well deserved bip, bip, bip on top of his head. And she has a heavy metal hair band zest for life: up all night, sleep all day. The Johnson's appreciate that.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Ohhhhh. I'm tellin'!

Erik's father is in town. And of course I come down with cold, flu, virus. That's what happens when you work around sick people who refuse to stay home. Or when you compromise your immune system because you're stressed about work, money and impending parental visit.

Anywho - I caught a glimpse of Erik walking through the house with the plunger. With the addition of another male in our home, I assumed it was for the toilet. You know what happens when you assume, right?

While I was wondering what he was doing with the plunger, I found Erik outside attempting to plunge the dent out of the side of his truck. A dent he came home with after attempting to park in compact spot in an underground garage.

"My dad suggested I try to pop it out." Erik stated. And then he added, "I told him you did it. AND that it was a sore subject and he shouldn't bring it up again."

"I am so blogging about this," I announced

He tells his father, I tell the internet.

Friday, January 25, 2008

We're gonna be fine

Last night in lieu of the regularly scheduled PTA meeting, our local public elementary school had a family arts night. For a $5 ticket each family member was treated to a taco dinner and a concert by the Polyphonic Spree.

I'll give you a moment to digest that.

The Polyphonic Spree played our school. It was amazing. Okay - so it wasn't the WHOLE band, but it was a stage full. The performance was fabulous. As the lead singer stood on the stage and talked about his band and the history of his choice to make music his life, I got goosebumps. He is an alumni of our little school and I just love that we are a part of such a cool community. I bemoan the city we live in, but I loves our hood.

Of course, Lula was in the front row shaking her head, her hair flying around wildly to the beat. Last night and this morning, Hazel had The Spree's CD blasting out of her tiny player.

Even though it is raining. Even though today might have been our only chance at a "snow day" this winter. Even though the DISD auto-dialed me at 5:45 freakin' am to play the message that school would be in session. Today I have a permanent loop of Reach For The Sun playing in my head.

Just follow the day and reach for the SUN!

The video for We Crawl features the lead singer, his family, the band and slice of the city we share.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

A man walks into his daughter's house

Last weekend, my dad came in for a quick overnight. The first thing he did upon entering our home was take off his size sixteen shoe, and prop his foot up on Erik's favorite chair. His big toe was injured in a skiing accident (BTSS - boot too small syndrome) and the toenail was pushed back into the nail bed causing bleeding, infection and after three weeks of being ignored - SEVERE swelling. The toe was by my estimation, four times it's normal size. I know this because, the second thing my father said to me was: Come over here and take a look at my toe.

My father's visit are often prefaced with intentions to "babysit" (aka surf match.com) so that Erik and I can "have some time" (aka get tense and irritable in the preparation). Last Saturday, there was nothing short of one thousand things I needed to do. Most of witch needed to be done around the house. But because of the toe and the prominent position it was occupying in the living room I joined Erik for the afternoon at his favorite watering hole.

Erik relayed the story of his father-in-law's arrival and the appendage to his tavern friends. To which one of Erik's friends quickly observed that my dad should go to a doctor. Which, miraculously, had occurred just the day before. "What did the doctor say?" Erik's friend asked. To which Erik quickly quipped, "He said. Ooooooooh! You should go soak that at your son-in-laws!"

Erik's dad is coming this weekend. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

He starts his new job tomorrow

To do:

"Remodel" the bathroom
Get a Passport. x4.
Swing / Tree house / trapeze / zip line for backyard
Work clothes
Hair do (today Erik said he couldn't WAIT to get me some hairapy)
Makeup, products
Bras - I currently have one in rotation. ONE! That's sad and gross.
Swiss Mountain dog
Detail the car.
Better lightbulbs & rightbulbs - meaning the right watts and all working
Paint for the front door.

Look Ma - No Training Wheels

Lula is officially a bike rider. I'm so proud. We had to talk her into it a bit. She isn't overly determined and if Hazel has proficient mastery of a skill (see monkey bars) she is content to not even try. "Maybe when I'm six" she says.

I talked up bike riding. Stating that riding a bike equaled freedom. Professing that when you can ride a bike you can go three times faster than you can run. Go three times farther away from your parents. I gave her the hard sell. And she bought it hook, line and sinker.

One of the last times I actually had to help her get started. Grabbing the back of her seat and running a few steps before giving her a push she shouted over her shoulder, "Bye mommy! I'm off to college."

Monday, January 14, 2008

Woo Who?

When I get home from work, at some point in the evening, I open my laptop. Automatically, the computer logs me on to the neighbors' high speed internet. Ours is one of seven networks, but the neighbors' network is the only one that isn't password protected.

That network is Hooters of Suburb 20 Miles Away. As I understand it, he is manager possibly owner of three Hooters. (She is a SAHM, frequently seen wearing workout attire.) They're nice enough. (Hi Neighbors. Thank you for the easy internet access.) I mean c'mon, they brought wings to the block party.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Airing My Dirty

I have a laundry closet. And while I appreciate, that I don't have to go outside to to reach the laundry room or that the washing machine doesn't live in the kitchen, I think a closet is better suited for a couple vs. a family. Or we could just be honest - I've let the laundry get away from me. And there seem to be piles everywhere. Piles of kids clothes, school uniforms, towels - you get the picture.

I also have a black cloud of doom that seems to be following my around lately. Depression hurts. Yeah. Hurts your chances of getting a clean washcloth when you need one.

So this morning, after stepping over what I think was once two separate piles of laundry -whites and dark.I tell Erik that the laundry is really bummin' me out. Yep. Bummin' is part of my vocabulary.

You hear that Universe? I already talk like I live in California. BTW,Universe, how's that job offer in Malibu coming? Don't forget, we like Venice too.

So. Lamenting to the husband about the laundry, I add quickly and quietly that I keep finding white towels with little yellow stains. Thus the bummin'.

I always think the lil feller is house broken and then the second I get all confident. Leg up.

Erik heard me and quickly responded. That yeah there were yellow spots on the white towels. But the one right next to my leg, that yellow spot - that spot was orange juice.

And then the clouds lifted. And there was a spring in my step. A smile on my face. Who-hoo that isn't dog pee it's just a breakfast spill.

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Meet the family: Bubbles

In an effort to be more like HER. When I brought home the company camera last night, the first thing I took pictures of was our pet beta fish, Bubbles.

I had heard the the number one cause of fish death was over feeding, so I've been sparse (very sparse) with the food. Now there is speculation that this is why the lil' feller doesn't have a long flowing tail.

I've upped his intake.

Monday, January 7, 2008

I lurk, you follow. Chapter One

How would you all like it if I tell you about other blogs I obsessively read and why? I'm thinking this could be a series.

You might find this hard to believe, but:

Nearly every major sport is broadcast using
Sony HD cameras. The Sony BRAVIA® HDTV uses
our knowledge of high definition to bring the
game into your home in Full HD. Sony BRAVIA HDTV

No! Wait that's NOT it. That's something I had copied earlier today at work.

I was trying show you how my LIFE imitates a John Prine song and I meant to copy this:

When I was a young girl well, I had me a cowboy
He weren't much to look at, just free rambling man
But that was a long time and no matter how I try
The years just flow by like a broken down dam.

The part I want you to wrap your head around is this:

When I was a young girl well, I had me a cowboy

Did you get that? Hard to believe isn't it?

So that is what I blame half my attraction to Confessions of A Pioneer Woman. The other half is her cooking. I am so making the pie and the pot roast next time I really have an urge to cook (also known as never). The most important thing to grasp out of this story, is that I could have been Ree!

Except the farm and the cowboys and the punks I know (less than 200 miles northwest), don't look quite as good as the pictures I see on her blog.

Where are the broken down and battered equipment and oil drum full of crushed beer cans in her country? Maybe it is because my family farms vs. ranches. There certainly aren't any wild horses on the sections of land I've seen. My grandfather rode a horse to work cattle, but I've never seen or heard my uncle mention any horses.

There are calf nuts though. So at least we've got that in common.

Why didn't I think of that?

Just about the time Lula learned to hold her head up, people started asking me if the girls were twins. Then when Lu finally grew some hair, people started saying that the girls looked EXACTLY alike. A few years ago, we were at a birthday party. The moms were clustered under a gazebo, I hung on the fringes trying to slip into a conversation. We were new to the area and the school and it was our first birthday party.

One of the moms got my attention and stated, "Your daughter is looking for you."

"Which one?" I asked.

To which she replied, "I can't tell your kids apart. I just call them Hula."

The thought of combing their names into that moniker had never occurred to me. But instantly I loved it. Now when there is an item that they inevitable will share, I pull out a Sharpie® and mark it as such.

Friday, January 4, 2008

361 Days and counting

Before I completely miss the S.S. Resolution, here are a few of mine I'd like to throw on the boat:

Feed bubbles more to determine if I too can I have a beta fish with a long flowing tail vs. the guppy looker I got now.

Continue my writing exploitative into arenas other than advertising.

Run some sort of race. Would love it to be the Bay to Breakers.

Travel somewhere exotic.

Camp somewhere woodsy.

Listen to more music. See more live music.

Cook more at home.

More Yoga. More meditation.

Go on a girls weekend.

Replenish the savings.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Another Question

What am I doing wrong? Is it too much drug talk? Not enough truth? My kids are cuter than yours? It's because we are temporarily low in the checking account? It's because we live in Texas? Whatever it is I KNOW it is all my fault. But if you'd be so inclined as to give me some pointers and let me know what you need from me I'd be happy to oblige. For the love of fortune cookies, why the HELL don't I get any comments?

If I lived in LA I'd blame Lindsay

I always peruse the NEW shelf at our local library. And I usually grab three or four books that I would never give my attention to if I was in a book store and they cost actual money. But since it is the library and I can justify late fees as a donation towards a very good cause, then why not walk out with an armload of the written word.

Today I had scooped up a few things that looked interesting when I spied an author's name I actually recognized. Sliding the spine from the shelf it was none other than Ms. Rosie O'Donnell's Celebrity Detox. I had read of the ruckus caused by Rosie's book when it was released and thought it would be worth a flip through. So I cracked the cover and then I laughed out loud.

"What?", said Erik.

"Here." I said. Handing the book over to him.

He flipped through a few pages and then exclaimed EXACTLY what I was thinking.

"This book smells like it was dipped in cocaine."

I wonder if this is from the previous reader or part of some marketing execs attempt at thinking outside of the box. It is called Celebrity Detox, after all.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

I'm still drunk

In college, I'm still drunk was our standard reply to anyone who asked if we'd had a good time the night before. It was an easy laugh. Still is.

In the same spirit as a giddy co-ed the morning after her first off campus mixer, I can't let this monumental occasion pass with out blogging about it, for crying out loud, I went out on New Year's Eve. That was me! With the make-up. With the husband. With the friends. With the dinner reservation. That was me! With the champagne. With the Parisian view of the fireworks. With the hangover!

It hasn't bothered me much in the past few years if we haven't had plans. When I say it hasn't bothered me, I mean that it hasn't bothered me until around 11pm when I'm watching Carson Daley and I look over at Erik sitting on the couch and then I get real pissy. But this year - I went out! It was practically a perfect evening.

Thanks Stef for making the plan and inviting us along for the ride.
Thanks Lonah for being an amazing babysitter even after I accused you of not being very good. (I love crow.)
Thanks Mindy for having the YUMMY birthday cake.
Thanks husband for being a fun date.

Stand by, I'm still working on resolutions.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Funny or Morbid?

Driving home from Austin, I suggested Erik ask the girls these age appropriate trivia/brainy quiz questions. "C'mon.", I said, "Let's play Are You Smarter Than A Second Grader?"

Erik reads the question, "Fill in the blank: Don't put all your eggs in one ___________?"

Hazel: Uh? Don't put all your eggs in one bowl! Yeah, BOWL!

Erik: Lula?

Lula: Uh? Don't put all your eggs in one bowl on the edge of the table then stir it?!!

Me, driving: "Girls - it rhymes with casket."