Friday, November 2, 2007

If You Are

Yesterday was a particularly trying day. One of those where life throws you a curve you weren't expecting. Where one minute your thinking about going to Mexico for Christmas and you can almost imagine the sand and the surf and the frothy drinks with umbrel -- AND then WHAM-OH! Christmas itself is suddenly in question.

Now of course, I can count my blessings. We're healthy and happy. Honestly, I blame Erik for putting it out in the universe that he was "waiting on life's next great adventure". Be careful what you wish for, buddy, you just might get it.

But yesterday, it was all new and uncertain. And the new news was turning around so fast in my head, I was just trying to get a grasp on the idea. And of course despite what ever neurotic or depressing scenario I am creating vividly imagining in my head, I always put on a brave face for the girls.

So while I was tucking Lula into bed, we were talking. About School, friends, how she can't possible sleep all alone by herself and about monsters with big teeth that might eat her. When she suddenly asked:

Mommy, are you happy?

And the question just kind of hung out in the darkness as we snuggled in her little bed. Thoughts raced thorough my head. Why is she asking this? What does she know? Does SHE think I'm depressed? Is she clairvoyant? What will become of us? I pulled myself together and answered that Yes! Yes! I am very happy. And then she said:

Mommy, do you want to show it?

And just as I was about to connect the dots she said:

Then clap your hands.


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